Saturday, December 4, 2010

inspiration


My students are inspiring individuals, and I can only hope that one day the world will listen to their words. Their minds and hearts are open to exploration and feel other people.  They are aware of a presence beyond themselves. The other day I split them into groups giving each group four very different pictures from places I have traveled.  I asked them to create a story connecting all four pictures as they interpreted the pictures.  What I received back was powerful and inspired me to write using ideas from their work. 

This is the result:

At the edge of the world, life stalled before her while simultaneously crashing over her.  The violent waves looked more like a welcoming comfort for her anguished spirit than the harsh deterrent they may have been for any other lost soul who might have stumbled upon such a powerful fury of nature.  Mesmerized by the uncontrollable yet graceful sea her memory wandered back through time and place. 

Walking to this place she passed a hungry man selling small birds in cages that were once brightly painted.  Just like their master, they had been faded and chipped after days under the demanding sun.  The birds were no longer capable of chirping as they knew their fate was the cage and freedom would only come with their demise, their passing to another world. 

She too felt suffocated.  No amount of wind could break her cage and liberate her being.  She was exhausted.  Everywhere she turned were cages and the vibrations of her endless fighting never seemed to shake the locks open.  Her option became the sea.  It was her escape.  A chance to shed the pain she had been carrying since her eyes opened and saw the widows and orphans. 

Waiting for the winds to carry her to her fate, she found herself instead blown to the familiar sounds and smells of movement at a standstill.

The train furiously raced the monsoon clouds to get nowhere but there.  Trapped to a rail that dictated its’ course the train roared through the over-populated and over-polluted cities, the jungle villages town apart by illegal loggers, and the desert lands void of water.  Fighting the world the created it the train cried for liberation only to find itself manipulated into a cage for the masses.

Stuffed by the hundreds they filled the cars, grasping for any ounce of air they could steal between the bars.  Just as they rails were impermeable to change, their classes and castes were cemented in the pages of history, predicting the future like a gypsy’s crystal ball.  They rode waiting, waiting for the days to repeat without change, without a voice, without a name. 

Unable to bare all the faces enslaved to the systems she failed to fix, she jumped.  But, the world was her captor refusing to free her so easily. 

She found herself in the streets with those dehumanized by imaginary borders and ideas brought to life through ink and the gavel.  All around her the people solemnly and desperately marched for justice, for a future for their “alien” children.  Thousands of people’s feet passionately stomped the streets that supported their jail sell dungeons and sweat shop towers.  Cages, constructed from judgmental eyes and fearful ears, lock around these souls as soon as their skin is graced by the sun and their accents are heard praying prayers of hope. 

Broken-hearted by the children left abandoned by the tax payer dollars and unnamed deportation centers, the girl laid down ready to feel the pain being proclaimed over the city streets.  But still, the world wouldn’t let her go.

In the bush between Juba and Gulu she wept, confronted by soldiers half her age.  Young boys and girls, who had lost their names to the abuse of their “leaders,” and lost their families to the conditioned violence if their own ravenous hands, stared at her without realizing there was a human in front of them.  Innocence stolen as killers evolved, these children waited hopelessly for the bondages of violence to break. 

Locked into the cast cages of emptiness, they were lost to humanity.  Where bubbles and laughter should have floated through the air a hollow silence prevailed.  Destitute with only a night-marish past these child soldiers sat staring at the forest unable to see the trees. 

To the forest the girl ran. Too weak to be so powerless she could only hope the forest would engulf her, bringing her death, bringing her freedom. 

But, the sky called to her.  “Child, do not run.  Turn around. Go back.  Be with them.  All of them.  Cry with them.  Feel with them.  Fight with them. They are not done. You are not done. We are not done. You do not fear the dark waters because they too demand justice for our people.  They warn the blind and deaf that power is not found in man-made bars.  You do not fear movement, you do not fear taking a leap, because you must blow from people to people, place to place.  Without movement there is no discomfort.  Without discomfort there are no questions.  Without questions there is no change.  Jump and we will carry you.  You do not fear being trampled by man because this will happen time and time again, but it will not ruin you. Ask the ground. He is trampled day after day and remains a provider of life for those who selfish to give a prayer of thanks for his stability and nutrients.  You do not fear the forest because it offers protection and mystery. Anything is possible in the forest.  You think you know what the world is, but you have only seen a glimpse of what we are.  You have yet to realize we move together and that movement is powerful.”

“Beloved sky, I want to believe you but you don’t know,” she wailed.  “You don’t know what it is to be human. To be weak. To be afraid.  To be alone. To be defeated. You have the starts and the sun and the trees and the waves.  You are bigger than me.  You always have been and always will be.  You have the ability to stop anything whenever you want to.  But you don’t.  What can my little hands do? “

“Dear child, you are still young.  Your hands can feed, your hands can love, your hands can hold, your hands can carry, your hands can pray, your hands can hold.  Your hands are powerful. They are en extension of your heart.  An extension of me. My winds will carry you where you need to go, and when your heart feels weak I will blow a breeze of peace and you will remember your hands. Those days will be blessed as you realize the power comes through unity, it is bigger than just you, it is in all of us.  That is the realization that will bring change.  It is a change we all need to be a part of. A change we all discover is necessary.” 

“I just don’t think I’m right for this.  I’m not strong.  I’m just a girl.  I just keep failing.”

“Why do you refuse to accept what I tell you?  I am strong and I am carrying you where you need to go.  You do not judge failure. You are on earth for but a short time.  I always have been and always will be and I cover the continents and seas. I know where there is failure and where there isn’t. I am the sustainer of all life.  I give your lungs air to breath and those breaths are what move your hands from one person to another.  I give oxygen to your mind and your heart.  As long as I am in you, you will be moving. I will not vanish.  I am here.  Everyone is strong enough.  Everyone is right for the journeys we send them on.”

Skeptical, the girl stepped back from the sea and bought the birds from the hungry man.  The birds flew free high above her head and she knew the sky would protect them. 

exchange


Nov 30, 2010
Today in class I realized that it’s not just me who is learning a new way of life, culture, and group of people.  I found several copies of the same poem, which obviously meant I would be reading it with my students.  A piece of treasure.  A Frost poem about a traveler choosing the road less traveled.  Some students got it right off the bat, but a majority were lost. 

As I was trying to explain the imagery of this poem I started to explain a yellow woods.  Of course my students have no idea what color changing leaves look like, or what it looks like to have hundreds of leaves covering a path.  So I drew some pictures, you know, the evolution of a tree loosing it’s leaves.  They were amazed.  Then one students said “dead tree.”  And I said, “that’s the magic, it’s still alive! It’s just like hibernating.”  My students looked at me as if I was from another planet.  Then I asked if they knew the word “hibernate” and as is to be expected no one did.  What was I thinking? I’m on a tropical jungle island.  So, I wrote the word “polar bear” on the board then explained I was a polar bear then I crawled under a desk in an attempt to demonstrate hibernation.  They were impressed. 

Then questions such as “can you eat snow?”  “where does snow come from?” “how do the bears not starve?” “where does the snow go when summer comes?”  “how do you wash your clothes if water freezes in winter (cause here all clothes washing happens outside in buckets of water from whatever water source is closest)?” “how do you get water into your house (I said we wash our clothes in the house and to answer this I drew a map of city with a system of pipes underneath)?” “does the water freeze in your house (I then explained heaters and water heating systems)?” I also explained we don’t take showers out of buckets, but we have a faucet, which again I drew, that dumps water on us.  Things I took for granted as I’ve been adapting to this new place and culture.  Washing clothes outside, tabo showers, not having seasons…all of these things I’ve been adjusting to. I’m beginning to know life here and I know life back in the states, but my students only know this life.  While I knew this, it never really hit me until today. 

So, on Friday if we have a week of good classes then I’m going to bring in my lap top, cracked screen and all, and all 60 students in each class will huddle around to attempt to hear the commentary, which may be impossible considering I don’t have speakers, of a planet earth episode talking about polar bears and hibernation.  I’m excited. 

December 3, 2010

Wow! I can’t believe it’s December.  I was intending on writing some other things, but my mind just got a bit overwhelmed with this whole December thing.  I always say time boggles my mind, but it really does.  A year ago, probably from the day you are reading this, I was in surgery during my last week of college classes before finals.  Since that time a lot has happened.  I graduated college, I moved home, I went to my grandpa’s funeral, I went to the Israel, Palestine and Jordan with a seminary group of students and met some pretty incredible people, I went to Indonesia alone and pretty recklessly (haha it actually makes me laugh as I think about getting off the airplane at midnight having no idea where I was going to stay or where it was I was supposed to be teaching in the second largest city in Indonesia) to get my TEFL certification where I again met some incredible people, I got a job at Grasshopper-the store I wanted to work at since I discovered it sometime in middle school-and met more amazing people, I got an internship working with political refugees and learned more than I could have imagined about the world and myself through the relationships I formed with people I met through that experience, oh yeah, I went to NYC for the first time to visit my family for Easter…again a good time with some amazing people, I visited some of the best friends a person could imagine back in CA to welcome Caleb into the world and say goodbye for the next couple years, I redeveloped some friendships that had been with, you’re right, some more amazing people, I had time to be and learn how to live in the moment taking in every breath and every smile and every tear, I said goodbye to my family and friends and moved to the Philippines to be a teacher for two years, I’ve started to learn a new language and culture and through it met some incredible people, I’ve been taken in by more than one family not as a stranger but as just another member of the family, oh yeah, I spent a few weeks in MA with some inspiring individuals who are going to change the world as I learned about permaculture and am now certified to design you some rejuvenating landscapes (!), and it’s all been amazing.  Full of ups and downs as all life is, but truly a beautiful year.

I can’t believe it’s been a year. 

And I can’t believe that I’ll be in one place doing the same thing for the next two years. I’m used to going and moving and changing, but now I’m here.  The crazy thing is time is flying by. I only have two more weeks of school till Christmas break and then it’s January and then I only have three months till summer. It’s insane.  It makes me wonder if life just continues to move faster than light as I get older and older.  If that’s the case I can’t even imagine how fast it will get considering I’m only 22. 

I met a woman the other day. she couldn’t really speak anymore and she couldn’t move very well. She mostly laid in her bed looking out her window at the rice fields.  She is going to be 101 February.  Her room is decorated of pictures of her family.  And you could tell when she managed to roll over and look at the pictures she was happy.  She has a beautiful family, and she has lived a good life that has brought them life. I can’t imagine living for so long.   How much the world must change.  But, maybe not as much for someone from a small island like this compared to someone from a more populated city with access to information about the world and its’ happenings.  Either way, it challenges my mind in ways I can’t express.  It makes you wonder about the point of life, and the purpose of your life, and what the future could possibly include.  It’s a humbling sort of feeling or thought.

So, what I wanted to write about:
I introduced one of my classes to BBC’s Planet Earth today.  I have never seen a group of 50 teenagers so in awe of a cracked computer screen.  Just watching their eyes as they saw things they had never even imagined was a surreal experience.  The questions and discussions that came out of this viewing gave me an overwhelming sense of happiness.  You could tell their minds were turning and they were trying to imagine other possibilities that might exist in the world.  If these things are real, what else could there be? 

I’m also trying to introduce them to racial, ethnic and religious diversity.  My entire island is Christian.  Literally.  At least that’s what I’ve been told by multiple people.  Today I returned a test I had given about a story we had read.  The story was about a Native American girl who was going to be taken to white school against her desire.  The question asked why the students though some people think they are more superior than other people, and I asked them if they agree that the white people were better than the Native Americans.  I think I have a few future human rights lawyers, but I was heart broken to also read several students say that the white people are better and have more knowledge than the Native Americans.  The reasons? They are rich and white and have better clothes and more education. 

Here students have “vacant periods” which just means they don’t have class. There’s a group of third year students that always hang out with me during this time.  Today I introduced them to Cool Runnings.    I’m hoping that the more I familiarize them with people that are “different” their concepts of right and wrong, good and bad, and dark and light will change.  On a happy note, I had a handful of students discuss “ubuntu” (all people are people through other people) on their exams.  I literally cried.