Gertrude

I have an immense amount of respect for Gertrude. She is the proud mother of four, and a gifted artist/craftswoman. She makes baskets, balls, wallets, and purses out of banana leaf fibers. Her designs are exquisite, and unique to anything in the tourist craft shops.

Every night she goes to the hotel next to my hostel to sell her products and then comes here and sits outside the main room showing off her work, hoping for customers. Every night she is in high spirits. Every night we discuss our days, how we’re feeling, and who we suspect might be the buying type. And then Gertrude walks to the people we think might buy from her and she politely taps them on the shoulder and asks them to look at her crafts. She is never pushy and never in anyone’s face, but still people get irritated she is interrupting their conversations or tv watching and sometimes brush her off. Not everyone of course, and I’m sure I’ve been that tired traveller who has no desire to look at any more products for sale plenty of times, but it happens. When it happens Gertrude, with grace and without taking offense, walks to someone else to sell her art. I am always in awe of her as she does this cause I know I would feel defeated after the first rejection or eye roll.

Gertrude makes her living by selling these products, and these products have supported four children through school. Pretty amazing. Gertrude now has two sons working in Dubai and then a son and a daughter still here in Uganda working on their degrees. Her persistence and hard work laid the foundation for these lives. For years this has been her routine, and it has been a routine that has given her children the chance to pursue their educations and their careers. Because of her determination her children will be able to give their children a chance at even better lives.

Knowing her and spending my nights with her, sometimes trying to assist in a sale or two (when someone seems on the verge of buying something I just so happen to walk buy with my purse and thank her again for what a beautiful, durable, bag it is and what a wise purchase it was), will, hopefully, make me more patient with other people who are selling products to tourists.

Everyday Adventures

Living in a hostel leads you to many interesting conversations with people from quite the range of backgrounds.  People who have travelled the world for months or a year at a time, people who have left their families and moved from their villages to wash sheets for a hostel, people who are having their first backpacking experience, people who are on a short-term missions trip, people who are young, people who are old, people who are doing research and studying issues like mountain gorilla preservation or gender based violence, people who are serious, people who talk a lot, people who keep to themselves, people who like to drink, people who are free-spirited, people who are the life of any and every party, people who are cautious, people who act as if they don’t have a care in the world, and so many more. Every night these people gather in the same room or two and digest their days, swapping stories of life, love, loss and adventure.

I read an article a while ago about a French journalist who was kidnapped by the Taliban and kept prisoner for several months. He eventually lost enough weight to slip out of his shackles and escape through a window.  He had one piece of paper and a pen. On the paper he wrote everything that he was looking forward to doing once he was free.

Here is his list:

After This, Ever Day of Your Life is Bonus:

Health               Forget                  Walking               Conversation                 Brothers

Cities                Scuba Dive          Hugs                    Jokes                             Wine

Ukelele             Outside                Bike                     Ski                                 Lay Quiet

Beauty              Sky                      Concerts              Stay                               Shoes

Heat                  Green                  Freedom              Sister                             Company

Music                Happiness           Cuddle                Shower                          No More Chains                                      

Create               Bath                     Rest                    Grandma                        Forgive                            Be Wrong         Swim                  Change                Talk                               Laugh

Passion              Mom and Dad    Wonder               A Good Movie              Live

Run                   Move                  Kiss Someone     Cook Books                  Wake Up

Girls                  Light                  Seaside                 Doors                            A Glass of Water

Home                Electricity           Friends                 Sit Outside                    See the World

Peace                Suffer                  Clothes                Play                               Good Smell

Sex                   Fall                      Family                 Boobs                            Come Back

Food                 Bed                     Joy                       Kids                              Be Stupid

Family              Cars and Trains    Free Hands         Faith?                            Tender

Love                 Be by Yourself    Shave                  Sun                                Tired

Pain                  Debate                 T.V.                     Be Free                         Clean hair

Call                   Knowing             Travel                  Stay Home                    Porn

Windows          Photos                  Rock N’ Roll!     Rich or Poor                 Win and Lose

When I first read this list I was struck by how similar his list was to a list I made while in the Philippines. I spent a lot of time thinking about my goals and the things I wanted to spend my life doing.  When I thought I had figured it out I wrote it down. I am not trying to compare the Peace Corps with Taliban imprisonment. However, I do think it is important for people to slow down a bit and spend time with themselves, and only themselves, in order to reflect on their lives and what is truly important to them. Hopefully it doesn’t take being kidnapped in Pakistan for this to happen.

The point is, simple things like shaving and eating and looking out windows are on his list, but a career, a house, and a great number of material things aren't mentioned. With the exception of porn, boobs, and girls, my list was almost identical to his list. I had lived my whole life thinking my list would be filled with country names (there is another list for this) and job accomplishments and degrees, but in reality, when i got to the core of what I wanted, my list looks a lot like this one.  

During my hostel conversations, and any conversation I’ve had with someone who is, or just returned from, travelling, I’ve noticed that anyone can live an adventurous, exciting life when they relocate themselves to a new environment. This process takes adjustment and learning.  Simple things like getting food or getting from point A to point B become adventures. When you are in these new environments you are aware of every sight, sound, smell and taste--and it's exciting. It keeps you on your toes, alert and curious. But, when we are in a place we are familiar with, a place we have spent years growing and living in, it is difficult for us to find excitement and a sense of adventure and awe.

I want to be able to find fulfillment and adventure regardless of where I am or how long I have been in that place. I want a walk around the block of a neighborhood that I know like the back of my hand to be as meaningful as a Safari trek through a new land. I want to be able to make discoveries in the little things I overlook everyday, like a view from my window, and I want to be in awe of those discoveries.

People wear their travel stories like badges of honor. Nightly recounts of the days happenings are told as if there is a competition to see who is the best traveller—a title that is awarded to the person who has seen or done the craziest thing.  People, including me, always talk about everything we take for granted back in the States. It’s true that we take a lot of things like running water, good food, medical care etc. But, we also take our ability to see the adventure all around us for granted, and this is something no one ever talks about. When we take this for granted we forget how to see the beauty and excitement of the lives we live, and we stop appreciating the small things like music and the sky.

This definitely does not mean that I want to stop travelling. I hope that I am always able to travel because I do think that travelling provides unique experiences and facilitates the formation of strong relationships between people that are sometimes hard to find in other circumstance. I think the best way to learn about the world is through travelling and talking with people along your journey. And, sometimes, we just need to get a change of scenery to regain our perspective. It does not mean I want to stop traveling. But, it means I want to be more conscious of where I am when I am there. I want to find joy in and through all that I’m surrounded by.

Recently, a few people have asked me what I want to be remembered for and what my life goals are.  What I want to achieve, what I think my greatest goal is, and what I hope my greatest goal continues to be, is that I'm present in my life and the lives of the people I care about in a way that brings happiness and encouragement. I want to be able to find fulfillment and adventure in a trip to get ice cream. I want to be able to find significance regardless of where I am, and I don't want to lose track of it—I don't want to take any moment or thing or person for granted. I want to remember that the simple things are the things that matter, and the simple things are the things that sustain life. Those are my goals, and while I’m working to achieve them I remain thoroughly entertained, and sometimes embarrassed, by the nightly travel stories I hear.  

love for my main man

My lovable, dramatic, brave, trusting, strange beyond all measures, intuitive, trooper of a babe died the other day. I, and so many other people, were greatly blessed to share a part of our lives with Todd. I might be biased, but he was one of the best dogs I have ever met. He helped me through a lot over our two years in the Philippines, and brought joy to both the people of Anda, those he met on his journey to the U.S. and all those who loved him in Erie.

At first I wrote an 8 page single-spaced blog about my main man, but figured that might be a bit much. All that to say the little man had quite the adventurous life full of spunk, a love and curiosity for all living things, and lots of holding and ear massages with the occasional episode of shrill screaming at the top of his lungs if he felt like he wasn’t a part of a conversation.

Many people loved Todd deeply, and Todd loved many people. Kids that used to be terrified of dogs grew to love Todd and bought him toys with left over lunch money. When I left the Philippines he got as many remberences as I did. Before coming to the U.S. I told people that he was a special dog, but I'm not sure people really believed me until they met the little guy. He managed to win over just as many, if not more, hearts in the U.S. as he had in the Philippines. He shared a lot of love and joy with the world. 

And now, after a life much longer than I ever expected him to survive (he really had quite a few close calls), he is reunited with his original barkada: Blackie, the other Blackie, Princess and Tim Tim. I imagine they are living in a land of plentiful food, no disease, more stuffed animals and toilet paper rolls than they know what to do with, jungle forests to roam, chickens to chase, couches to sleep on, and lots of holding. And, I have no doubt they are causing havoc in that land while charming all those they encounter.

the beauty of travel

I’ve now been in Uganda for a few days, and have come to realize my memory is great. Maybe no so great at remembering names and dates, but great at remembering my experiences and the interactions I’ve had with people.

I was nervous before coming to Uganda because I was afraid I had romanticized my memories of Sub-Saharan Africa. The last African county I spent time in was South Africa in 2008 (?). Before that I had spent a little time in the Republic of Congo, Burkina Faso and Uganda. I fell in love with each of those countries and have carried that love with me everywhere else I have travelled. I always think, “this is nice, but it’s not Africa.” 

After spending two roller-coaster filled years in the Philippines, I began to wonder if my memories of Africa were wrong. Maybe the people weren’t as warm and friendly and real and joy-filled and compassionate and kind and thoughtful as I had remembered. Luckily, my memory hadn’t romanticized anything and the people of Uganda are just as wonderful as I have remembered. Even though I have yet to see much of Uganda, or experience much beyond the market, my hostel, and the office, I can feel the power of Africa that first made me fall in love with it.

I also just love travelling. I love moving. I love new places. I love the challenge of going into a new place, that seems completely foreign and unknown, and finding a way to be comfortable in it while learning as much as you can about life there.

Yesterday I was writing to JT that without fail people take care of me when I’m abroad whether it’s when I’m stranded at 4 am or when I don’t know how to get someplace or how to do something. The world is pretty amazing like that. It’s one of the things I love about being in other places. You need to rely on other people a lot more than we recognize in the U.S. It's not that we don't need to rely on people when we are home, but it's harder to see how we depend  (not be completely dependent, but able to accept help) on people. In the U.S. it’s hard to see that it's okay to accept help from other people.  We are taught to do everything on our own and we are told if we aren’t capable of doing something we are unsuccessful and/or weak. But, when you are abroad you have to rely on other people to help you through things and help you figure life out. And, sometimes, yes, you are completely dependent on people for a while to do the most basic tasks (i.e. learning how and where to get water or how to speak the language). And that’s not a bad thing.

One of the best things I learned in the Philippines is that it's important to accept what people give you and what people want to give you even if you don't think you need it or you don't want it or you feel bad taking it cause it's a lot. But, all of those things are good and make people feel good about being able to give. It's like being here and taking help from people. People just open their homes when I need a place to stay. They aren't necessarily doing that to give me something, rather it’s just what you do when you're in other places. It's significant to me though, and I'm still very grateful for it because rarely do we stumble upon strangers in the U.S. who are willing to trust a stranger with their families and homes. That is the greatest gift a person can give.

I think just as traveling exposes me to the worst parts of humanity it also introduces me to the best parts and gives me a lot of hope for the world. I say it shows me the worst parts, but I know that I can see those things in the U.S. too.  It's just magnified when you are traveling cause you see things you aren't as familiar with, so they stand out more. I don’t think that’s a good thing cause I think it leaves us disconnected from our closest neighbors and the injustices we walk beside each day, but I think it’s too often the reality, at least for me.  And, sometimes the suffering can just be overwhelming in certain countries whether the pain stems from corruption, HIV/AIDS, the effects of war, poverty or any other tragedy.

However, you also meet the most incredible people who are and do so much more than you ever knew a person was capable of being or doing. I’m always in awe when people, often strangers or long lost acquaintances/friends or friends of friends, go out of their way to help you as if it's no big deal at all. I love that and I think it's my favorite part of traveling. Needing people to help you, being able to let them help you, what you discover through those moments, and what develops between you and the people who help you during those times.

It’s also one of my favorite parts of Africa as a whole. Every country I have been to in Africa I have seen women help each other when someone is struggling. I have seen people take care of kids that aren’t biologically theirs. I have seen people give the little they have to another in need. I know that’s not universal and that there are still people who don’t do those things (it is a giant continent after all), but it seems to be the norm. It’s a norm that many other parts of the world don’t have, and it is refreshing to be surrounded by again.

On a less serious note, I love public transportation in other countries. I’ve missed riding on the back of motorcycles. I really hope someone gets a motorcycle so they can drive me around. I’ve tried driving one for myself and it was disastrous, so I’m counting on someone else to help me out with this dream.