Jhusua take 2

You’re Not Alone

In this world where equality was drowned in a deep black sea;

Where love was swallowed by the Kaiser of judgmental humanity,

Which could turn a day of jubilance into a moonless night

And the age of glory refused to offer its’ light

But don’t let the words of colorless souls vanish your faith,

Or bring your life into the land of humorless marionettes

‘Cause you could jerk those words into the river of deficiency

Thus, be free to fly and reach the brightest star in the galaxy

It’s not a sin if there are two kinds of hearts sprouted by your earthquake prone world

It doesn’t matter if you are suffering from the nightmares of reality,

But it matters that your heart grows, which gives light and strength,

And that you’re the apprentice of love; not a traitor, nor a villain, nor a monster

And even if their demonic lasers strike and tear your golden mirror

There’s always a rainbow after a million pale tears have to fall

I will share with you the rare lights of my powerful chandelier

Always remember that I’m here and you’re not alone

Spaceless

During a lifeless winter day

The world was entirely covered with the tears of grief

Hopes were sunk in a deep dark grave

And my corpse heart was alone…searching for a place

I was there to be the light when the autumn conquered the dawn

I was there to offer strength when the stern paradise stole all life

But how could I divulge the words of truth?

If there wasn’t space available for me!

Did I need to pursue a search until I reached the kingdom of silence,

Or just bury my words in the grave where I belong?

‘Cause now there are pangs that bring down my hopes

And the comets beyond won’t show their brilliance

The goddess of sorrow whispered into the shadow of deadly cosmic rays,

Which refracted and hypnotized my foolish soul

Saying that I needed to cast my words into the dark hole

Where they would easily vanish, just like fake happiness

This is my letter to Jhusua

i'm including this because i spend so much time telling him the world needs his words and will listen to him, but, as you can read in the above poem, he more often than not feels his words are going nowhere.  this devestates me, and often makes me wonder if my belief in him is enough to make him realize all that he is, or if i should just sit back so he isn't so disappointed when things seem the same day after day

Jhusua

Never stop sharing your words with the world. They need to be heard and read. Your stories, your life, all that your pen documents, carries strength and the vision of a world where love prevails. This is something people need. It offers hope even during the most hopeless times.

Words have the power to transport readers from their world to another—sharing not only oases of peace and possibility, but also truths of reality and the complexity of human life. You have the ability to do all of this.

You possess a wisdom that far surpasses your age, a wisdom that you must always remember to hear and let guide you. The world may tell you one thing, but what you know, what you believe, what you have come to discover as truth should never be ignored or forgotten.

Use this notebook as a space for expression. Anything and everything. It is yours, just as your words are yours…never to be destroyed or stolen

Jhusua

I have no idea why I was brought to the Philippines, but I think it might have to do something with this boy.  The Philippines is a very difficult place to be “different.” In the U.S. I thought it was hard to be unique and dance to the beat of your own drum, bur here, I think, it's much harder. 

I have a student named Jhusua.  I have contemplated naming my future son after him.  He is a remarkable boy, and there is something in me that literally feels like it is melting when I read his work or see him smile or watch him struggle as he tries to figure out what he thinks about something or as I listen to his often terrible stories from life outside of school.  “Melt” is such a cliché word, but I can’t think of any other way to describe the connection I have to Jhusua.  

I wanted to copy a piece of an email I sent John Todd about Jhusua, but I couldn’t find it, so I’ll just do my best to give you a little bio.  Basically, his work will speak for itself.  He is a compassionate soul, and has a degree of empathy and understanding I’ve never seen in anyone else his age. He knows and feels what people he has never met, and may never meet, feel and know.  It’s as if he is somehow transported to their lives when he is day dreaming in class or walking home after school. He has such a vivid comprehension of all that is a part of this world. His wisdom is almost terrifying for such a young person, and he is in tune with all life. He is sensitive to everything. When something hurts, he hurts; when something thrives, he thrives.  But, he is strong and he is a fighter. I think a lot of this has to do with his life and the way he has been treated at home and by his peers. Just as he can love, he can hate.  Both of these expressions are so pure and so full. I cry when I experience him doing either because his love is so powerful that you can watch it heal people, but his anger and hatred is also powerful, and I fear they have the potential to do great damage in him, just like anyone else.  But, unlike other people, he is in constant dialogue with his love and his anger (sometimes hatred) so that they are both solidified and he carries them with him in every thought and feeling that passes through him. 

 Since I met him last year I have hoped that I could somehow encourage, strengthen, and support his self-image, and thus his ability to find internal peace and spread his love, because I think it’s a dangerous thing for someone so young to be torn down so many times by so many different people.  

Before you get the privilege of reading Jhusua’s wise insights to the world around him and himself, I will give you one more quick preface.  In the Philippines students have not been trained or encouraged to think critically. I have little else to say about that right now, other than that is one of the main things that setsJhusua apart from his peers and why adults and youth alike criticize and judge him.  It is not acceptable to question or doubt what has come to be common belief. At the same time, this is one of his many qualities that I find refreshing and gives me hope for the Philippines. I have no doubt it’s this quality that will help Jhusua do great things for the world.  

The first four of these posts are taken from his class journal.  The first ten minutes of my class are dedicated to journaling based on a different prompt every day. The journals are graded for effort and individual thought instead of grammar.  The next six are from his private notebook. Enjoy, and hopefully, through these you will get to see a glimpse of an incredible boy I get this time working with and learning from.

A portion of Jhusua’s response to the word power written on the board

“If I’m giving a chance to have a power to rule our country, I will not accept it or I will just ignore it because I just want to have a simple life. A life where I can express myself and a simple world where there is even a small space available for me to shout my words in the world which could offer hope and could bring peace and love in everyone’s heart.”

The World of Seven Billion (A National Geographic map that shows areas of development, population growth, access to food and water, health statistics etc.)

“Actually I don’t read the details written in the chart because it’s so long. But when I read the title, I surprisingly said, ‘Wow!’ The title have a really great and powerful impact and charisma. The first thing that comes to my mind is about overpopulation and poverty after I read the title.  We are all aware that the main problem of all governments in different countries was poverty caused by overpopulation. Because of poverty, sad to think that many youth will not be able to go to school because their parents have no enough money to support their studies.

Especially in Africa, aside that most of the children in that continent cannot study, they also can’t eat three times a day. That’s why most of them are malnourished, which caused high rate of death. Because they easily got sick from their harsh environment in the reason of they are lack of nutrients in their bodies to fight or avoid getting deadly diseases.

Actually, sometimes before I sleep, I think about the children in Africa and in other countries. In my imagination I saw them sleeping in the mud, nothing to eat and no comfortable things for them to live. I feel sad. I fell guilty because I can’t do something to help them. I’m sorry, but I can’t continue to write what’s next ‘cause now I’m crying. I don’t know what to write anymore…I’m sorry. Goodbye”

Cultures (A response to a National Geographic map that traces and displays the exchange of technology, food, art etc across the globe)

“I also didn’t read the details about this one, but what I understood when Miss Kaitlin told something about this topic to us is about obviously ‘cultures’ and progression of some countries. In cultures, we are all know that each countries have their own traditions, philosophy, and beliefs, but some countries have almost the same cultures maybe because of colonialism. For me, our cultures is most important things in our life because some people can be able to identify whether in what country or raise we are belong. And I think culture is like a rights which should be respected and accepted by others. And which we can be proud of and complete our personality as one voice. 

In progression, the countries belong or categorize as the most progressive are the U.S.A., Hapan, Chine etc. I think the basis why those following countries considered as richest countries in the world are the amount of energy that they consumed and their technology. I know and we know that everyone wants to have a developed county but what is the value of progression using high-quality technology if we could destroy our environment, our beloved world where many people are living, not only me, you and them. Am my right? There’s nothing wrong to aim progress but we shuld make sure that while our country is progressing, our mother nature is not suffering from the bad side effects of using technologies.”

Response to the statement “All men are created equal.”

“This quotation is extremely true and super powerful. Because we are really born equal with the same rights. But I think this quotation is just ignored by somebody cause we are all aware about the discrimination happening in our world. Most probably, the persons which are discriminated with others are the bisexual community. When I watched on t.v., I heard that the transgender lifes are mental disabilities. I don’t believe on this and I really hate those persons who discriminated the bisexual community and other persons who have insecurities in theirselves. Those who discriminates are such an evil because they ignored what are the feelings of those who they discriminates. 

If I would given a chance I would kill them because I felt hatred in those persons. I really, really, want to kill them even though a big sin and even I’m in prison. They should respect the rights and treat them equal as they are. Because our rights is our life, if we lose it because of somebody who discriminates us it seems like we lose our life. We would not be already a complete person. We would be a dust floating in the air if we lose our rights through discrimination. I don’t know why I’m becoming an evil because of those evil person too.  Maybe I just can’t accept that there are persons who discriminating others ‘cause I am one of the victims of discrimination. Most of the persons around me insulting me and saying that I am weird, abnormal, mysterious, and misunderstood, and they also treated me seems like they are on the highest and I am on the lowest!”

From his private notebook (p.s. he told me it was okay to share all of these entries with all of you)

To the readers:

“MASTERPIECE…a very complicated and difficult word to define. But according to the dictionary, Masterpiece is anything done with superior skill or in short a chief performance. Do you agree? Of course you did because it’s come from the master of all English word books which stating the correct or let say perfect definition of different words.

But, immediately…I felt confused because every time I heard or remembered that word there was a different or another idea which playing in my mind.

For me, masterpiece isn’t all about being great, being amazing, being stunning, being unique, being expensive, being powerful, and so on. ‘Cause for me, true masterpiece is anything which causes a great happiness to you when you accomplished on making it.  That when you see your work, it will offer brightness when the darkness blocks your way.

That’s what I think the most about masterpiece. But, you! What is your own definition regarding in the word ‘Masterpiecee’?” –Jhusua O. Celeste

Dark Room

I am alone…

Wondering unto the shadow of dayspring

Keeping the maiden came from darkness

And whispering to call the fair of happiness

I am standing…

My eyes having discourse till they cry

My greatest organ gazing into the sky

But my knees declare that I need to die

I am confused…

The weapon of death ant to end my life

And strange daylight cover me from grief

But the bold pale light conquers the brightness

And now…I’m dying…

Foolish blood creep around the heaven

As for the heavenly bodies ruin the beauty of Sunday

Until the angel of death ushers my soul with the world of sadness”

Private Journal

“When I watched ‘the Glee Project’ they performed the song entitled ‘MAD WORLD.’ That song wasn’t familiar to me but when I heard the lyrics I felt sad, I felt bad…I don’t know but I became emotional which leads me to cry.

They said that the ‘Mad World’ song is knowned on its strong words that are used to make the song powerful and unforgettable. This is all about ‘INSECURITY.’ Each performance that I saw wore a board where their insecurity was written. Some wrotes: fat, gay, small, misunderstood, numb, used, fake, black or white, rejected and anorexic—I don’t know what does ‘ANOREXIC’ means.

As I said, when I heard the lyrics I felt sad because that song or maybe that performance is related to myself. I have a lot of insecurities like being a devil, being fake, being less fortunate, being a loser, being weird and having a broken family. Sometimes I want to show my real me but I’m afraid because this world where we are living is true judgemental.

But now, I’m trying o change some of my bad attitudes to be a better person. That song and that performance causes me to thinked and imagined that this world is a world of sadness, where discrimination prevailed and where love and equality are ignored. I don’t know if I’m right but that’s what I think the most.

That song will not be vanish in my heart, in my mind and in my soul until the end of my life because that was powerful, amazing and genuine. And that song is also the reason why now I feel good because now I accept myself, my insecurities and I understand that there are reasons in all things happened in your life. Just accept who you are and be true to yourself then you will be free.”

Monster

When the darkness pace the entire land of insilence

Take either your breathe or your heart

Cast it away from me—the lord of monsters

Then swiftly read the gleam before it vanish

Don’t even try to tear my foolish heart

Or even after your fake and conditional love

‘Casue I could easily cast your soul on the dark-sided paradise

And make things nocious for you to ignore the light

But in the end of autumn, spring sprouts and creeps

Peace predominates in the world of greenish blood

So please entrust me your genuine heart

I’ll try to keep it, not destroy, or ruin it

And even the dark-day must have to come

I would conquer the evil spirit came from the underworld

Even it could be the reason for me to die

I’ll go for it…just for the sake of our love

I am weird

Most of the person around my world said that I’m weird. Sometimes I flet bad because they’re insulting my whole personality. But now I accept that I am a weird person, actually I’m really proud and glad to be weird ‘cause it makes me unique from others. And I think this is a blessing to me in the reason I’ll be able to express who I really am; n hiding and no pretending.

They say being weid is being mysterious, abnormal and misunderstood. But I disagree on what they say because for me it is more about being creative, imaginative and being curious in all things happened and would come to happen even something out of this world like aliens and ghosts and other things which can’t reach by science. Most probably, I think their reason why they called me weird because I am the only boy among us who loves to wrote poems, stories, etc. which is so hard and complicated to do in the reason of you need to widen your mind or your imagination. I really have interest in writing poems, stories, and others. I don’t’ know why but I think this is my only way to express what I felt or what I expereincd and maybe I’ll proudly say that writing is my PASSION!

Now I can’t wait to shout in the world that I am weird and I am proud to myself.  If somebody try to insult me, I’ll just ifnore them and let them do what ever they want because I knew in myself that I accept who I am and most especially I knew that I’m on the right track. 

If you could only love me

If you could only love me

My life starts its excursion in a world without gravity

If you could only love me

Stars at night will proudly shown its true beauty

If you could only love me

A thousand miles away seems like two steps for me

If you could only love me

It’s liked I took all the precious treasures using your vitality

If you could only love me

You are the bold knight and im your beige and metallic armory

If you could only love me

I could reach the sky and forget the reality

If you could only love me

The ocean of love prevails in my fantasy