time and terrorism

I can already tell that this whole blogging thing is going to be hard for me, but I’m making an effort.  I’m forcing myself to write this so that I don’t get in the habit of not blogging before I even attempt to blog. 

It’s just weird to write and share your/my thoughts and feelings about life.  I think I’m used to writing for myself but not for an outside audience.  Not that I’m assuming I have an audience, but I do know a few of you (Anna and Rebekah) who are into blogs and may indeed be reading this. 

The two things that have been on my mind a lot are time and terrorism.  Time boggles my mind as it always has, and, well, actually terrorism also boggles my mind.

Time:

3 years ago from the day I left for the Philippines Nick died.  That same day I was recklessly jumping off a cliff attached to nothing other than a frayed rope, lacking any sort of “bungee” apparatus, and a wet piece of Velcro supposedly “securing” my feet over the source of the Nile.  Head first I dove after I spending weeks in a country divided by ethnic conflict, experiencing all that comes with a 22 year war.   Surrounded by soldiers, both official and those kidnapped into the title, and fear that hope wasn’t a reality.   A potentially dangerous place for a white girl, and surely a dangerous place for the Ugandans who anxiously await the redemption of their land.

Meanwhile Nick, a very responsible guy, was heading down to college to get settled in days before classes were to start.  Nothing extreme, nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to be worried about.  Tragically, and for no reason the human mind can conceive, his life was ended in second. 

Both places blessed and cursed by the rains.  In Uganda the rain was birthing new crops while simultaneously washing away peoples’ homes.  In the United States rain was singing lullabies on peoples’ rooftops while simultaneously moving Nick from this world to the next. 

Things don’t make sense.  One person a true Eagle Scout, prepared for absolutely any life scenario, studying with a plan to make a true difference in the world, and another recklessly gallivanting around the world without direction.  Why he was taken and I was not is still unknown.  

What I do know is time continues to move.  This thing we can’t perceive but has defined us in terms of minutes, years, generations, and histories continues to drive us from one place to another, constantly inspiring new ideas, relationships, and feelings. Each experience, each breath, each interaction between life forms is another step in time, but time is a magical thing and remains still despite it’s overwhelming movement.  As we are pushed and shoved, sometimes beyond what we are comfortable with, from one moment in time to the next, each moment contributes to our being, our person, and our soul, forever imprinted in the galaxy. 

Time boggles my mind.

Terrorism.

The UN apparently has over 170 definitions of “terrorism.”  I’ve gotten into a few arguments about this concept with professors, friends, peers, family, and strangers alike.  It seems to be a constant theme of discussion in current news and politics.  So much so that it has infiltrated our homes and dinner conversations.  Astonishingly young children who have yet to reach a stage of literacy that would allow them to read the newspapers printing stories about “terrorists” are classifying their neighbors who wear different head coverings than themselves as dangerous people.  What has happened, and why do our explanations of the world always result in tales of fear and terrorism instead of love and understanding?

Today we had hours and hours and hours of briefings.  Briefings of every sort.  Basically, the day was spent on describing all the dangers in this country and all the potential ways to die.  Sure enough, the day started with the most current “terror” news here.   A bus hijacking yesterday not too far from where we are located for this training.  Eight people were killed and apparently, as the story goes, the hijacker was an angry police officer that was recently laid off from his job.  To take out his frustration he targeted a bus of Chinese tourists.  Everything about this story is sad, and I’m sure fear was instilled in everyone who was faced with this mans gun.

I would define terrorism as being any action, thought, or speech that makes one feel fear.   I think terrorism is a very real and effective thing.  It is a very brilliant (brilliant not being acceptable or good) technique of spreading awareness concerning ones’ cause.  The problem is terrorism is only successful when we allow ourselves to feel the terror.  That feeling legitimizes the work of the terrorist and further strengthens his/her motivation to continue his/her work.

Today as we were being told all these things we need to be aware of it seemed as if every briefing got its point across by instilling fear into us.  Don’t touch this coral because you will die, this terrorist group is known for violent activity and we don’t negotiate with terrorists which means your chances of survival are limited, you will not be raped or robbed every day but in this place with these people under these circumstance it is likely, if you do this someone will slice your purse/pocket and take your money, these people were kidnapped, this woman was raped, these men were drugged etc etc etc. 

No, none of these actions are okay and no one should ever be raped, killed, stolen from, kidnapped or any other thing that presents a danger to their life, BUT, I feel there is a better way to describe these scenarios.

I don’t know how I would present these things but I feel there has to be another way.  As the terrorist groups and terrorist activity was being described to us by the embassy people looked rather uncomfortable and all I could think was this is exactly what any terrorist group would want.  They would want their cause to be worthy enough that the American embassy, its’ diplomats, and every other American citizen in the Philippines would be concerned.  It gives them strength.  It makes us fearful, which gives them a victory from the beginning.  If we never figure out a way to move beyond conflict without instilling fear this is going to become a perpetual cycle that is forever engrained into our society and our histories.  Do we want to be defined as the generations afraid of those different than us, or the generations that use fear to manipulate other people and gain support for our causes? 

Just as time isn’t something we can necessarily see but we can feel, terrorism and fear are things we feel but can’t necessarily see.  Just as terrorism and fear can be seen through bombings and kidnappings, time is something we can see through the growth of children and plants.  Life and death.  All connected.  Both continue to happen despite the hands of time.  It’s just a matter of how we want our lives to be lived and our deaths to be died.  Void of fear, open to love, free to pass from this world to another sounds like the optimal experience to me.  We don’t have much time on this earth, so we should embrace the time we do have with open arms, daring hearts, and a desire to understand and empower.